Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
