She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
