Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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