I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
