the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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