So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
