Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Farmville is her only friend.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
