sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
