the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
