I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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