i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
