I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
