Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
