i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
