Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
tell me about the fingering
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