whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
