Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
