i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
