"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i think my cat just said my name.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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