i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
