Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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