i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
