Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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