bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
