Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
