with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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