...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
