grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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