so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
