this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
