After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
