Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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