it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
