I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
