On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
