youre lurking in front of me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
