I'm drive I can fine osifer
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
