So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ladies don't puke and tell
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
