D3 body, D1 cock
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
