I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
