I should be sponsored by Trojan
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
