yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
