Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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