Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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