I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
