I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
