my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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