So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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