if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
