I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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